In Africa it is still a widespread tradition that a man, if he wishes to marry a woman, has to pay lobola to the wife's family. Traditionally this would be in the form of cattle or sheep, but for obvious reasons this can also be paid in hard cash these days.
Another tradition amongst black people is to give their children names which actually mean something, not a family name or one that just sounds pretty. The name given can have something to do with the hopes and aspirations the parents have for the child, the way they feel about the child, or the circumstances in which the child was born. Inthe 20th century these names were often given in English or Afrikaans, and may sound peculiar to Westerners. We have many people here with names such as Precious, Beauty, Lucky, Princess, Courage, or, as in this story, Happiness.
The story:
A farm worker in KwaZulu Natal approached the farmer he worked for and asked if he could borrow R1 000. The farmer wanted to knoiw what the money was for. The worker told him he was in love with a woman called Happiness, but he couldn't afford the lobola her family demanded. After negotiations they had come to an agreement that he would pay a deposit of R1 000, and she would then move in with him, marrying him as soon as he's paid the balance of the lobola.
The farmer decided to tease the worker, and told him that R1 000 was really a lot of money to pay for a wife.
The worker replied: "Sir, she's worth it. She's beautiful, she's young, she's a great cook, she's a wonderful person. Sir, Happiness is a bargain!"
Uriel
Aww, that's cute, Andre!
André in Zuid-Afrika
African wisdom!! I should add that this incident actually happened (it was told by the farmer to a local writer, who used it in one of her books. The worker obviously didn't realise how much truth there was in his words.
Uriel
Quote:
they had come to an agreement that he would pay a deposit of R1 000, and she would then move in with him, marrying him as soon as he's paid the balance of the lobola.
Wait -- free milk and a cow -- this sounds like renting the cow AND paying for the milk! Perhaps Africans aren't so wise....I'd just put up the down payment and live in sin, I think.
André in Zuid-Afrika
Uriel wrote:
Quote:
they had come to an agreement that he would pay a deposit of R1 000, and she would then move in with him, marrying him as soon as he's paid the balance of the lobola.
Wait -- free milk and a cow -- this sounds like renting the cow AND paying for the milk! Perhaps Africans aren't so wise....I'd just put up the down payment and live in sin, I think.
Doesn't work like that! The family would have set a date by which time the lobola must be paid in full, otherwise the woman will have to return to the family, and the man will lose his deposit! A lot of negotiations go into this. And he will become an outcast in society... and probably never get another wife.
The whole system is becoming increasingly controversial as young, urbanised blacks are starting to reject it. Many young women, not surprisingly, regard it as degrading, and there is also a growing (and justified) belief that this encourages violence against women (if you paid for a woman, you own her, many black men believe).
Sander
Beautiful, and just imagin that the Dutch have a saying that says that you can't buy hapiness
Uriel
Well, here we go you one better -- "Whoever said you can't buy happiness just doesn't know where to shop!"
André in Zuid-Afrika
Sander wrote:
Beautiful, and just imagin that the Dutch have a saying that says that you can't buy hapiness
Have it in Afrikaans too...Geld kan nie geluk koop nie
I should add that this incident actually happened (it was told by the farmer to a local writer, who used it in one of her books. The worker obviously didn't realise how much truth there was in his words.
Doesn't work like that! The family would have set a date by which time the lobola must be paid in full, otherwise the woman will have to return to the family, and the man will lose his deposit! A lot of negotiations go into this. And he will become an outcast in society... and probably never get another wife.
Beautiful, and just imagin that the Dutch have a saying that says that you can't buy hapiness 