A man wen to a government office to collect his social security, and the official told him he would have to show some gray hair on his chest to prove that he was qualified.
So his wife suggested that he also show his dick, so he could get disability, too. _________________ An apple a day....
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles del Río de Porciúncula
Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 11:22 pm Post subject:
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
A half-gallon 2 % milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce
A 2lb. bag of coffee,
And 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"
That's a fat woman who enters a pharmacy to go to weigh.
She heads for the electronic scales and climbs on it. Instead of seeing her weight displayed, she sees a message "please, just one person on the scales at the same time!" _________________ Karout hep bezañ karet
A zo kriz ha kalet
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles del Río de Porciúncula
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:47 pm Post subject:
Not really a mean joke, but I think it's cute:
Larry gets home a little late one night and his wife says, "Where have you been?"
Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.
Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."
(Larry is recovering in room 233 at the local hospital.)
Man to wife: "Do you mind if I come in your ear?"
Wife: "You'd better not -- I might go deaf!"
Man: "How do you figure? I come in your mouth all the time, and you never shut up...."
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