Location: San Francisco, Noord-Kalifornië, Noord-Amerika
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 11:14 pm Post subject:
And while we're on the subject of infantile humor on Saturday Night Live, here are a couple of my favorite regular characters with one of my favorite guest hosts:
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boy hood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax
and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the
five bowels,A,E,I,O,and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome
Q: What does the word " benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight _________________ Toe ek jonk was, het ek al die antwoorde geken. Nou verstaan ek nie eens die vrae nie.
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles del Río de Porciúncula
Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 7:48 pm Post subject:
Some cultural humor... (don't nobody get offended, it's all in good fun!)
How Mexican Are You?
If you can run and play any sport while wearing chanclas... Mexican status!!
If your late tio left you a van and you turned it into a taco vending business, yes, you're a Mexican.
If you have ever hurt yourself and your mama rubbed the area while chanting, "Sana, Sana, Colita de rana..." You're Mexican, big time!!!
If you have your last name in old English lettering anywhere on your car, truck, or tattooed on your back. Yes, you ARE a Mexican (proud one too).
If you refer to your wife as your ruca, your nina, your wifa, your old lady, or your vieja, guess what? You're a Mexican.
If you throw a "Grito" every time you hear Vicente Fernandez (Chente), then not only are you a Mexican, but you are a drunk Mexican!!
If you have ever been pinched in church and been told "pobrecito de ti si lloras" or "Vas a ver horita que salgamos," yes, you're definitely a Mexican.
If you grew up scared of someone called La Llorona, or fear the dark because of El Cucuy, yes, you're a Mexican!
Si te persinas with a lotto ticket in your hand before every drawing. You're in the Mexican Zone!!!
If you ask for something by "dame esa chingadera" instead of calling it by its name. Yup! Mexican!
If you constantly refer to cereal as "con fleys" or cake as "kay ke". You're a Mexican.
If you use manteca instead of vegetable oil and can't figure out why your butt is getting bigger... You might be a Mexican.
If you have some tias that dress up in their prom dresses to go to a birthday party at "el parque". You are a Mexican.
If your tias and abuela dress up in their Sunday best with heels and all to go to the "pulga." (AKA the Flea Market). Then, yes, you are a Mexican.
If most of the houses on your block are painted bright pink, mint green, and purple. Mexican.
If you use the bushes in front of your house, the fence, or the top of an old car to dry laundry. Yes, you're a Mexican.
If you're congested and your mamasita rubbed "Bicks" into your nostrils and gives you "jugo de sebolla" with sugar, (grandma's recipe) to help relieve your symptoms. You're Mexican.
IF YOU DON'T NEED ANY EXPLANATIONS FOR ANY OF THE ABOVE, YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A TRUE MEXICAN. VIVA LA RAZA!!!
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles del Río de Porciúncula
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:20 am Post subject:
Deborah wrote:
One of my former co-workers, who is Mexican American, would mutter "What's this chingadera?" about 50% of the time she'd look over a new assignment.
"Chingadera" is a very useful word. I use it all the time whenever I can't remember what something is called: "Where the hell is that chingadera (tv remote)??" "Darling, will you please hand me that chingadera (backscratcher)" "Hey, pass the chingadera (ganja bowl)" "I mailed that pinche chingadera (check) last week!"
One of my former co-workers, who is Mexican American, would mutter "What's this chingadera?" about 50% of the time she'd look over a new assignment.
"Chingadera" is a very useful word. I use it all the time whenever I can't remember what something is called: "Where the hell is that chingadera (tv remote)??" "Darling, will you please hand me that chingadera (backscratcher)" "Hey, pass the chingadera (ganja bowl)" "I mailed that pinche chingadera (check) last week!"
Hm, like dinges in Afrikaans. Where is that dinges? Has Dinges arrived yet?
As someone once said to me: Hoe laat maak die dinges in die dinges toe? (What time does the dinges in the dinges close?) He meant: What time do the shops in the mall close? _________________ Toe ek jonk was, het ek al die antwoorde geken. Nou verstaan ek nie eens die vrae nie.
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles del Río de Porciúncula
Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 6:05 pm Post subject:
André in Zuid-Afrika wrote:
Hm, like dinges in Afrikaans. Where is that dinges? Has Dinges arrived yet?
As someone once said to me: Hoe laat maak die dinges in die dinges toe? (What time does the dinges in the dinges close?) He meant: What time do the shops in the mall close?
Is dinges a word you can use in polite company? Some might find chingadera rather crude. It comes from the all-purpose verb "chingar", which, depending on context, can be translated as "to fuck".
Hm, like dinges in Afrikaans. Where is that dinges? Has Dinges arrived yet?
As someone once said to me: Hoe laat maak die dinges in die dinges toe? (What time does the dinges in the dinges close?) He meant: What time do the shops in the mall close?
Is dinges a word you can use in polite company? Some might find chingadera rather crude. It comes from the all-purpose verb "chingar", which, depending on context, can be translated as "to fuck".
Oh yes, it's perfectly OK, it's a variation on the word "ding", which simply means "thing". _________________ Toe ek jonk was, het ek al die antwoorde geken. Nou verstaan ek nie eens die vrae nie.
I love how those actors are pretending they can get any work done while that chair is trying to unseat them!
Jeez, I think I'll be humming that annoying jingle for at least a day. I may have to buy one just to get it out of my head, which I'll bet is the case with many of their customers. _________________ "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." ---- Groucho Marx
The chair color does look cartoonish, doesn't it? But...weirdly...don't you think it also looks a little....kinky? Or am I crazy? _________________ "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." ---- Groucho Marx
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles del Río de Porciúncula
Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:49 pm Post subject:
Would you sell your mom out like this (to a tv station) for a few thousand dollars and a good laugh? I mean, it's funny and all, but I feel bad for poor mama.
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"Chingadera" is a very useful word. I use it all the time whenever I can't remember what something is called: "Where the hell is that chingadera (tv remote)??" "Darling, will you please hand me that chingadera (backscratcher)" "Hey, pass the chingadera (ganja bowl)" "I mailed that pinche chingadera (check) last week!"
I love how those actors are pretending they can get any work done while that chair is trying to unseat them!
The chair color does look cartoonish, doesn't it? But...weirdly...don't you think it also looks a little....kinky? 
Or am I crazy?